Endsleigh Cottage

Every year, once a year, Rob and I hope and plan to go away together on our own. It hasn't always been possible, especially when the children were very young. It's quite a big thing to hand over 4 children to grandparents or other family or friends when they're not used to the noise and energy of children. But as they have grown and matured it has been easier to leave them and to find the time to go away.

This Queen's Birthday weekend we chose to go to Havelock North which is on the east coast of the North Island. When we had been married for about 18 months, we came to a quiet little Bed and Breakfast, which was quite a newly established business itself in those days. We had just lost our first baby due to late miscarriage and were making some pretty big decisions regarding our future, so we decided to take some time out and so we came to Endsleigh.

It was one of our most favourite, memorable holidays together, and we always said that we would come back..... look, here is our entry in the visitor's book back in 1999.

The house is situated in a privately-owned garden with two other cottages on the property that can be rented out. A smaller, honeymoon-type cottage and a larger house than our cottage for more than 2 guests. This house that we stayed in has been renovated and is beautifully kept and decorated simply inside, with authentic antiques.

Here is the hallway that leads out to the verandah where we like to have afternoon tea in the sun.

The master bedroom. I love the quaint light cord over the bed for turning it on and off.

Window seat. The rose is mine and the curtain was just crying out for a splash of red.

The gardens around the cottage are beautiful. I loved the lavendar along the back end of the house.

Don't you think this dining table would make a lovely still-life painting.

This was the cupboard with our breakfast and tea things.

And the pictures on the wall....

Outside we were kept company by Humphrey and Winston. The donkeys.

 

I would not recommend donkeys. They are very lovely but they are very noisy. 

But we didn't mind. Not really, because they're so interesting to look at. And really, very sweet.

At night we would light the fire and sit around it reading, talking, just relaxing. One night, instead of going out for dinner we made soup and toasted some bread for dinner. Lovely!

This is such a special place for us and last time we stayed here it marked the beginning of a new era for us. I wonder if this stay will have any significance for us? One thing for sure, we definitely want to go back before 14 years pass again.

Our House At The Top of the Street

We have our house plans.

There's a little story with the journey of this house, and even though it has taken us five months longer than we would have liked to settle on a plan, there are things that happened in between that have given us this house.

First of all, it goes back to the year 2000 when our first son was born and when we built our first house while living in Alexandra, Central Otago.

I loved the library there - the librarians in the Alexandra library are the best. I was in there every week and loved reading old house magazines for  ideas. So one day I checked this magazine out.

 

It's an American building magazine. And I have to say right here, that American design is our favourite. The Americans are certainly skilled at creating homes that look great and are practical. One day I will do a post on that alone.

Inside this magazine was a house that my husband (the former architectural designer) loved. But at the time he felt that the style wouldn't suit Central Otago, but he kept going back to it, so in the end, 6 years later when we moved to Canterbury, we asked the librarian if we could buy the magazine and keep it. And she said yes, because being the only ones in Alexandra who kept checking it out nobody else even knew it existed, and it was getting rather old and used, as you can see.

But, this style of house didn't really suit the flat plains of rural Canterbury either, so once again it go tucked away. But now, all these years later, and as we are about to build our 3rd house, and because we were desperate to get re-inspired after the disappointment of the last architect, this magazine gets dragged out again, because this style of house would most definitely suit the section we have bought in suburban Tauranga.

And after 5 months of frustration with the first architect, I was sitting in a crowded cafe one busy Friday morning with four girlfriends and some of us were in a deep and meaningful conversation about the virtues and delights of the ipad-mini, and I was imploring with them to join Pinterest, when Victoria told me about Houzz. An app for the ipad which showcases photographs from designers of every single room in a house that you could desire, including landscaping and exterior. I downloaded it as soon as I got home and spent the rest of the day ignoring the housework. And we found another house (American) that we loved as well, so we took it to the architect, along with the pictures of the above house and told him to merge the aspects we loved of both houses and come up with something unique to us.

Which he did. In three weeks. And this last Tuesday night we finalised them.

And here is the rough sketch of the exterior. I can't show you the complete sketch, but this is the view from the front.

And here is the view from the main road, which will be our outdoor living area.

We only had a few minor things to change - like taking out the skylights (we hate skylights), and changing a few windows and doors here and there, but otherwise it's perfect for us, and the architect is working on the working drawings now and will then send it out for tender.

While he is doing that, he is arranging for the kitchen designer to meet with us soon. That will be the first thing in our house to get designed and decided upon. So my next blog post on the house will be about the kitchen, and I will look forward to getting your feedback on ideas and colours, etc. I already have many ideas saved on my Houzz app.

Here is the initial architect's design of the kitchen. Already I will be doing away with the long bench and having a large stand-alone Island instead. It seems that everyone in New Zealand loves the kitchen bench with bar stools alone one side, but we hate that. It didn't work for us in our last house - was a wasted space, as we prefer to eat at the dining table, so no bar stools for us. The Island is much better for us. We had one in our first house in Alexandra and loved it.
The kitchen window at the sink looks out onto the Jacaranda tree (love) which we may be able to save. I'm working on that with the men who are not so attached to it as me! The pantry is the central room in the house, so good for tornadoes! Haha! The earthquakes have made us natural-disaster-conscious!

So what do you think of our little house? It's not the rambling country house with spreading wings and generous proportions that we're used to, but I think we might end up loving this the most, because we've loved it for so long and it has grown with us. So already it has history and a sense of familiarity. The best of all the three places we have lived in and loved and nurtured our family.

And of course, we will have to think of a name for it. I always name our homes.

Living In A Bubble

Some days I feel like I've been living in a bubble for the last 40 years.
Let me explain....

I grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other and everyone looked out for each other. People were kind. People invited you over to their house for lunch. It wasn't just a 'come over for a casual BBQ and let me tell you what's going on in my life," but it was more the attitude of "I want to get to know you. I want to know what your life is like."

And I thought the world was still like that. I honestly did. Because I'm like that myself. I hate impersonal get-togethers with meaningless conversations about the weather or your job or your kids or your clothes. It frustrates me that noone wants to sit down for a few hours and have in-depth conversation. It's all rush-rush, scratch the surface kind of companionship. 

Does anyone else get what I mean? And I feel like I'm just waking up to the fact that the world isn't like that anymore, and that people aren't like that anymore either. It's all about "Look what I've got. Look what I do. Look what I have. You are privileged to know me."

Seriously, is it just me, or has the world changed? Does it just mean that I've finally grown up and the bloom is being brushed off the surface of my world, or is the world in general self-absorbed?

What triggered off these thoughts for me this morning was running into an old family friend who I have invited over and over to come to things we are doing or dinner or lunch or a party etc, etc, and they have always found excuses to not come. This last time they didn't even phone (after they said they would) to cancel. So this morning, after seeing them, I graciously shrugged it off and said, "Oh there'll be another time," and then they told me how they're so busy renovating a house etc, etc. Should I take that as a hint, or are people just so wrapped up in themselves that they don't know how to be polite anymore.
I honestly don't think they intend to be rude, but more and more it seems to me that the art of cordiality and politeness and just courtesy in general is fading into the past.

Also, as it happens, I texted an old friend this morning - someone who I have called one of my closest friends - because it has been awhile since we last talked - and the text I get back was all about the exciting things that are happening. And I am happy for them, really I am. But as I put the phone back into my bag it suddenly struck me that this person never asked how I was, how we were doing, what we were doing. This supposedly close friend hasn't got a clue as to what is going on in my life. What does that say? About them? About me?

I had a little of the bloom rubbed off my world last year. The kind of thing that happens where you start questioning a lot of things. Alot of friendships. Alot of decisions that you have made.

I kind of withdrew into myself for a little bit, until I wrote it all out (as I am doing here - really it's wonderfully therapeutic), and as I have slowly triumphed over that and come out the other end I look back and realise that there are people who I thought were my good friends. People I have shared fun times with, and deep thoughts and secrets and conversation, and I have not heard from them in over a year. Unless I make the contact first.

Because we have lived in many different places in New Zealand, alot of my good friends are scattered all over the place, but that's ok, because they were the kind of friendships that you can just pick up where you left off. Some of my friends have been through difficult times and I have been there for them, but at the end of my difficult time, it slowly dawned on me that I hadn't heard from them. At all. It was like an 'a-ha' moment.

There's a sadness in that, for me. And a slight creeping into my soul of cynacism. I don't want to look on the world with cynical or bitter eyes. I want to hold on to the romance and beauty and naivety of my youth and my outlook on the world. But it's hard in the light of these modern times, and in the slow dawning that it is a rare thing - an extremely rare thing - to find a man or a woman who is not self-absorbed.

It is a lesson to me, that in spite of the knockbacks, not to become just another soul-less person who takes what they can and not give anything back. It's hard to be like that in the world of hard-knocks. It's a fight.

It's a worthwhile fight, but there is a price to pay.

And so today, I feel a kinship with Lizzie from Pride and Prejudice, or should that be Jane Austen. For her to write such a thing, she must have felt it, known it, experienced it....

"The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense."

Where To Go When You Want Snow

I did something naughty yesterday.
I took my daughter out of school for the day. And not because she was sick.
But because a friend and I wanted to take our girls up to Auckland to go to Snow Planet, when there wasn't a holiday or weekend rush on.

Meredith has never tried skiing before. She's had plenty of snow in her lifetime, thanks to Central Otago and Canterbury, but never actually tried skiing.

So my friend D and I and the two girls sneaked out of Tauranga before 8.30am on a beautiful, sunny Friday morning and drove the two hours up to Auckland. We had a few moments of hillarity on the roads - just too many slowwwww drivers, and I won't mention the panic that happened when we came to the tunnel just before the harbour bridge. Ummmm...... when did they build that? It made us think we were on the wrong road. And tunnels... well, they kind of freak me out a bit - more so now, after the earthquakes.

But we safely made it. Here is a smudgy view of the skytower and Auckland city as we drove over.

The hardest part of the whole morning was getting the girls rugged up in their snow clothes. It was a warm, sunny morning in Auckland, so by the time they got their thermals on, their snow pants and jackets and gloves and hats, extra pair of socks and the awful ski boots, they were melting. Remember what it's like to get off an airplane in a hot country, like Singapore or Bangkok or Honolulu? Well, this is the reverse, as I kept telling them. Soon you will be stepping off the plane into Antarctica.

Here is my friend leading them into the snow area.

...while I grabbed a table by the window, in the cafetaria, with latte's on order...

It was a few hours of fun for the girls, and Meredith did so well on the skis. I think that must be the key to learning to ski - doing it when you're young.

On the way out, we spotted a group of lambs who had escaped their paddocks and had come to have a nosy around the car park.

Back over the harbour bridge, where we took the wrong turn and ended up taking a tour of Mt. Eden and admiring all the pretty houses, before finding our way back onto the motorway.

The girls wanted to go to Sylvia Park Mall to do some shopping before we headed home, so we spent the next half hour or so hanging out at Smiggle and Toyworld.
This is the carpark with the motorway overbridge. I seriously don't like such heavy contraptions over my head. But the mall was fun, but too big to see in one afternoon, so D and I have vowed to come back here later in the year with more girlfriends and make a weekend of it, which sounds like a lot of fun to me!

A lovely drive home in the dusk. It was dark by the time we reached Tauranga.
I love the New Zealand countryside. It's so pretty.

Little Things

I've given up on the 30 day book challenge. Honestly, I was getting so stressed out choosing a favourite every time - too hard for a book lover!

And this has been such a busy time for us. There is so much going on! It's all great fun, and I love it, but it's so busy! On Saturday I have the children at netball, ballet and soccer, all at around the same time, usually in three different parts of town. When I was registering Theodore for soccer, the coach asked me if I was English - as in from the UK. Ha! I had to laugh and then was puzzled as to why he would think that, so I asked. And the answer, because soccer is called Football up here in the North Island. So maybe my South Island Christchurch proper accent combined with using the term 'soccer' makes me sound English! That's kind of funny, if you ask me.

On the writing front, I am distancing myself from my manuscript. Trying to forget it exists. Throwing myself into sewing and shopping and movies, and wondering why I'm getting frustrated, until my husband told me it's because I've stopped writing. Which is true. I'm still waiting on a couple of my beta readers to get back to me, but I've had some good feedback and plan of getting back into the editing of it soon.  In June, I am going up to Auckland, all by myself, to attend a workshop on creative writing and planning/structure of novel writing. So looking forward to that, and so grateful for a husband who doesn't mind going solo with the children for a few days.

I'm planning a series of children's books. It's my in-between project before I launch into my next novel. I'm really excited about it - have started writing them. You know, I don't even care if any of my books get published. I just like the creative process of creating them. That's the fun part for me.

One lovely thing that happened this week was a visit to the Annah Stretton store for a style consultation with Nina. This was thanks to my lovely friend, Debbie. I met Debbie when we first moved to Tauranga. Remember that ghastly house we rented for a few months? I am convinced that we had to live there just so we could meet Debbie.  Her daughter and Meredith are great friends, and Debbie is one of the nicest people I have ever known.

So yesterday I had my makeup done and then a long chat with Nina, who assured me that in spite of four children, and the steady march southward of my body, I am still an hourglass (or bluebelle) shape. Like Nigella Lawson (I liked that part). It was so much fun, and I came away from it with the confidence to develop my own signature style. I'm trying to move away from the Mumsy conservative look that I've had for the past 15 years or so. A new chapter is beginning in my life. I really enjoyed my time with Nina, who is a beautiful and inspiring woman. I was telling her a bit about my life story, and she was telling me some of hers, and I was thinking afterwards about the strength that so many women have because of what life has thrown at them, and how they have turned it into something beautiful, like Nina. I truly came away from my time there feeling inspired and nurtured and confident.

Look at this beautiful rose-clip I bought from the Annah Stretton store. I love it. Today I am wearing it on my belt and the pop of red with the black and silver outfit I'm wearing just satisfies me.

I have started doing a pilates class each week with one of my sisters-in-law. It is so good. It's not really strenuous, and yet I find myself with aching arms and thighs the next day. But pilates makes you feel so good and I always sleep well after it with all that concentrated breathing that you do. As well as this, I am trying to get into a routine of doing these exercises every day which a good friend put me onto. You would think I could manage 15 minutes a day, wouldn't you. I really recommend these if you're a busy person who doesn't naturally take to exercise (like me).

On the house front, we ditched the last architect and have gone with a new one, and are seeing him on Saturday. I'm thinking we probably should have gone with him first, as he's very experienced and I think instinctively knows what we are trying to achieve.

Alice is going to her first real girly, girl birthday party on Saturday. She is so excited about it. This morning we are going to go down to the shops to choose a present for her friend.

So, that's just a few of the things that have been happening around here - as well as meetings at school and hockey during the week (Hugh is trialling for the Rep teams in a couple of weeks), physio both for me and Hugh, and tomorrow I am doing something fun which I hope to blog about over the weekend. Hope you all are having a good week!

Day 10 - Favourite Classic Book

This one is right up my alley. Which book not to list? I love the classics.
Although, I never used to, until I discovered audio. Having a book read to you unabridged in the voice of an actor or actress who really knows how to emphasize the right words and is clever with voices is the way to open up the classics if you haven't attempted it yet. For example, Dickens might look intimidating, if you pull it off the book shelf. Small print, thick book, and sometimes it takes a few chapters to get into Dickens, so audio introduced me to him, and now he is my favourite classic author. (I think David Copperfield is almost 40 hours on audio - now there's a bargain for your money)!

Of course, who can pass by Jane Austen or the Bronte's, or Daphne DuMaurier or William Makepeace Thackery, and I think I can throw in LM Montgomery. Surely, she is a classic by now.

Instead of listing my favourite classic book, which is quite impossible for me, I will list my favourite book written by the most well-known classic authors.

Jane Austen - Sense and Sensibility. I know that most people love Pride and Prejudice the most, but there is something about Sense and Sensibility that appeals to me. I love the moodiness of it, and I love the cottage by the sea. I also love the fall-in-love-with-a-villain plotline. I have read it so many times and I  still haven't decided who I like best out of Eleanor and Marianne.

Charlotte and Emily Bronte - Jane Eyre has to take the cake here (it is brilliant), but I also love Wuthering Heights. Is there a more villainous villain that Heathcliff? The thing about the Brontes is that while Jane Eyre is my most favourite classic book ever, if I had to choose between meeting Charlotte and Emily, I would choose Emily, because I think she was the more interesting of the two. What a mind to conceive of Wuthering Heights, when she led a fairly isolated life. I did a study on her for an English assignment in 4th Form (year 10), and I struggled to find in-depth information on her. I would love to know her better. I have always had a fascination for her.

Charles Dickens - for our 10th wedding anniversary, we went to hear Miriam Margolyes give her incredible performance of Dickens' Women. What I love about Dickens is his social conscience and the subtle way he wrote to bring about change in his society of the day. I am inspired by that. A true example of the power of the written word. Harriet Beecher Stowe is another example of this. My favourite Dickens book is David Copperfield (it was his favourite too), but I have written about his books many times before.

Elizabeth Gaskell - I love, love, love North and South. Another social conscience plotline (and she was friends with Dickens too). But the characters truly live in this story. It is wonderful.

Of course, other favourites are Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackery. I am also discovering Anthony Trollope and have enjoyed a few of his, but they always leave me with a funny taste in my mouth, so to speak, so not a favourite, but definitely enjoyable and contemplative.

There are so many other classic writers, but these are a few that stand out to me. Jane Eyre tops them all, in my opinion.

Day 9 - A Book I Thought I Wouldn't Like But Ended Up Loving

This is an easy one, because it's relatively fresh in my mind.

It actually was my first book into the world of..... I don't even know what you call it.... popular fiction? I haven't been very tolerant to romance/fiction books in the past. I find so many of them predictable and boring. But I really can't read Dickens and the Bronte's and Anne over and over again, and I was desperate for something new. So I tried it.

My Last Duchess by Daisy Goodwin


And I hated it. I got it on audio and listened to the first couple of hours and then gave up. I turned it off, stuffed it away and nearly forgot about it.
Until we were driving long distance somewhere and I needed something to block out the noise of 4 kids in the back keep my mind occupied. So I tried again, and this time I was hooked. I don't know what it was that pulled me in, but something did.

It follows the life of Cora, a rich, young, slightly selfish American heiress whose mother has high ambitions for her in regards to marriage.

She does eventually marry a lonely British aristocrat with a country mansion and servants and prestige, but Cora worries if he married her for love or for her money.

The ending was sweet and not predictable and I would happily listen to this again, so if you can get through the first couple of hours then you'll probably like it.

It also sent me on a hunt for other novels like this, and I discovered Nora Roberts, but that is another post for another day.